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February, 2025






Proof positive that my grandchildreen are 

cuter than your grandchildren! :)


This month we have had the pleasure of having our daughter, husband and two boys come visit us from Germany for 3 weeks. Plenty of rides on the John Deere mower, stories read and carpet level play dates were the order of the day. 


PROLOGUE

Back in the day when I was a tad bit younger, I loved building all our furniture. This was before I married Janice and she insisted that I became happy. I was particularly fond of exotic hardwoods as they might have been more expensive but were every bit as much work to build anything with. So, why not?

I built dining tables, dressers, butcher blocks, waterbed frames and all of my first borns furniture (basinet, highchair, crib with water bed mattress, dresser and rocking chair). Just beyond happy hippy days I made macrame plant hangers, candles and on and on.

When Janice and I got married, I had to put all that aside and built our house. I also built all of our cabinetry throughout the house including in our kitchen, bathrooms and circular staircase banister (Honduran Mahogany with Peruvian Walnut inlay). The furniture thing had to fall by the wayside because the house build was followed by the complete reno of the house on the island that we bought. This of course, was followed by our house I renovated in Brittany, France, followed by the complete reno of the villa on the Riviera. Do you see a pattern here? 

The house reno's now under control, a few years ago Janice wanted me to build a 'river desk' here in California. To this day I am astounded at how well it looks. It was my first time and I knew how important precision was if it was to turn out. A river desk, table or door, if you are not familiar with it, are two pieces of live edge wood slabs joined together with glass or epoxy in a way that it gives the appearance of a river flowing in the middle between them. Is this really necessary? Of course not! It's an artsy fartsy thing.

The one I made had greenish glass for the river on Black Walnut wood. I made the pattern and had the glass cut with a hoity toity high pressure commercial water jet to get the fine detail of the flowing river that I wanted. It turned out fabulous. Not bad for a guy with a rusty hammer.



Then, when we arrived home in California this year, Janice wanted me to build a river dining table. "Out of the question", I said, as I love our table. "But we have had it for such a longggg time" was the argument. But just because we have had something for 30 years doesn't mean it's not really cool. I mean, look at me!


 But just then, she got a great new idea that led to...

 

How to build a $2,000 office door 

in 20 easy steps

 

1) Do a little research on the ‘how to’. As in 20 hours of it. Read, review others videos and research everything that could possibly go wrong some more.

  2) Drive 3 hours to Los Angeles to shop possible suppliers. Pick the 2 winning rare Elm live edge burl slabs, check for the acceptable moisture content, deplete the bank account and take them home.

  3) Let them acclimate for 2 weeks to their new  environment so they do not warp. 

                   4) Remove all bark and loose material.

                                                          5) Cut them to size


   6) Seal the form and the slabs. Clamp them down so they don't 'float' when the epoxy is poured.

   7) Mix and pour a thin layer of liquid glass (epoxy) with copper dye to prevent seeing right through the river, as it is the door to an office that can double as a bedroom. Then, pour a second layer of liquid glass clear epoxy (priced like gold) to see the 'banks' of the river running through the middle of the door on the front side. The white caulking is the prevent the epoxy from flowing over the front of the door. Remember the part about liquid glass being "priced like gold?"

  8) Raise the frame to allow for cooling as hot epoxy cracks. Keep it all between 70-75 degrees (20-23 C) 24 hours a day for 72 hours to start the curing. This required getting up three times in the middle of each night to fire up my workshop heaters.

    9) Use fans to cool the epoxy.

   10) Let it  all cure for 3 weeks.

   11) Build a level base and a router sled to level the top and bottom.  This will be the back of the door. (Office side)

  12) Run the router on the router sled through the slab. This is to level and reduce the slab to the desired thickness. The router can shave off 2 inches wide (5cm) per pass, 1/16" deep (.16cm). The door is 7 feet tall (over 2 M), so this required hundreds of passes with the router over the slab. Then you flip the door over and do the back side. About 15 hours of work.

  13) Power plane and belt sand to prepare it for finish sanding.

 14) Sand to get it professionally smooth. Not only as smooth as a baby's butt smooth, but smooth as a professional piece of high end furniture smooth. When done, sand it again. Then again. And again and again in 16 progressively finer grits. When you are seriously sick and tired of sanding, do it one more time. (If you are a woodworker, 36 to 3000 grit). It is as interesting as watching paint dry, fishing, chasing a little white ball on the golf course or going to the dentist. Sanding requires serious hydrating to keep you numb and sane. 

   Since this is an office / bedroom door, both sides are seen, so the office side needs to be finished just like the front. Back to sanding, sanding and more sanding.

  15) Check for the most minor imperfections and fill every microscopic knothole with black super glue.


  16) Cut a curf on the bottom of the door to insert the floor guide


  17) Cut a hole in the plaster wall to bolt the beam to support the weight of the 175 pound (79K) door, then hang the metal track. Patch the plaster and touch up the paint.

  18) Put the finish on and polish.


    19) Ta Da! Oh, wait! That was the old door


          20) Put the sucker up. Living room side.

         



                                                   Office side


            Say "What's next, hon?"

   


I was at Home Depot and some little kid called me an old fart. So, if you’re missing your kid… he is in the red LG dryer in aisle 17







January, 2025

 

Success!!

Some years ago, Janice started staying overnight at the Sarah's Guest House in Syracuse, NY, when she was receiving chemo and radiation treatments when we were at the island. Sarah's Guest House is a kind of Ronald McDonalds house for grown ups. Folks who have critically injured or sick family members in the local hospital have an affordable place to stay close by - some for weeks- where Catholic volunteers bring food in every day so they need not leave the facility other that caring for their family in the local hospital. At some point we found out that they had a yearly fundraiser to raise money to support the operation. They did the customary golf tournaments and yearly dinners, auctioning the typical gift baskets, spas or overnights at the local hotels. Over the past several years, we have offered to auction off a week at our villa. To say it was a resounding success and a money raiser would be an understatement.  

This year, I was at our church here in California, when a lady spoke about her group (Captive Hearts) who house and counsel battered and sexually abused women. I approached her and asked if auctioning off the villa for a week at their fundraiser could be of any help. Her eyes got as big as saucers, and we were in. The winning bid was for $9,500. Now we don't kid ourselves for a moment. We don't think people bid that amount because they think our place is worth it, they bid that to support the charity, and oh! by the way, they get to stay at the villa too.

When I heard that the bids were that high, (we did not attend as we were at the island at the time) I could only see dollar signs and was not about to let the second bid of $500 less be lost. So, I got hold of organizers and told them to refund the top bidders $500 to match the second bid of $9,000 and tell them they too had won. Everyone was thrilled and two groups were on their way to France. The foundation changed the dates of their next fundraiser several months later and got a bid of $12,000. A friend who was an organizer, followed my philosophy of "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" immediately offered and got a second week for the second bid of $12,000 without asking.




Not a fortune for sure, but a full third of their yearly fundraising take. Meanwhile, one of the attendee's ran their own foundation (Knowing You Matter), that deals with suicide prevention and contacted us about, yes, offering the villa for their annual dinner and fundraiser. We hesitated but found out they were on the up and up so we agreed. The villa raised $18,500 for them for a total of $65,000 for all 3 groups. In each case, the week in France was the single most valuable item being auctioned.

Like a snowball, yet another group contacted us to do the same, but we said no. Each one of these seven weeklong stays have a significant cost to us, as there are utilities and house cleaning staff to pay for out of pocket. Besides, if we have too many weeks donated, folks have less choice as to when they want to come. 

All 3 foundations can hardly wait for next year's fundraiser.


Christmas 2024

After a quick flight to Portland Oregon, picked up by daughter Cassie, I spent the week with the grandkids. Lots of tall tales and age-appropriate kid activities filled the week.

The rug rats


A salvage ship we visited. This one was 
sent out to the Exon Valdez recovery.


One of 4 anchors


At the Maritime Museum. Boats and naval stuff is real big in Astoria. Guess what river?

 Daughter Cassie, terrific son in law Art 
and two of their 5 fur children.


Here we go again…

 

No, not another deployment but something closer to home. Years ago, when we were building our home, I spent 10 weeks – alone – roofing the house with wood shingles. 35 years later it never had a leak, but the woodpeckers were getting to it. So, we had the roof re-done. 3 years later, it was discovered that there were issues with the job that had been done so the insurance company authorized it to be reroofed. Now, 5 years later, we have had a minor issue and once again the factory inspector has determined that there are many other minor issues with how the work was done. So, for the 3rd time in 8 years, our roof is being redone. 35 years with a homeowner job, 3 times in 8 years with professionals.

A dome may be my idea of a cool architectural look but is no picnic to build  and certainly not to roof. This re roof is costing the insurance company over $60,000. ($86,000 in Canadian funds) The original roof had a valentine message on it, rediscovered by the dismayed roofers each time they stripped it. Janice saw it from a mile away when she was coming home from work that day.



The product we are using is a pricey 3-layer architectural shingle. It has a warrantee of 50 years and with that thickness, it creates a little shade at some times of the day, mimicking a wood shake look. Since it has a 50-year lifespan, it will need to be redone in 2075, and that will take me to the year 3025. After that, the kid's inheritance will have to pay for it.


 So why do I write the Epistle?

   As a perspicacious and perspicacious writer, in my pursuit of establishing intellectual credibility and showcasing my sesquipedalian prowess, particularly within the worlds of politics and societal evolution, I frequently resort to the utilization, implementation and deployment of a grandiloquent lexicon.

   Had enough? No? Ok then...

   This predilection, however, culminates in the production of protracted, pedantic, unctuous and laborious prose, thereby jeopardizing not only comprehension but also ultimately readership itself. The aptitude for lucidity and concision in written communication constitutes a pivotal differentiator for those aspiring to enhance their efficacy in conveying ideas, augmenting ones productivity, and fostering harmonious interpersonal dynamics.

   (If you made it this far, your masochism is matched only by my sadism)

 Oftentimes, the employment of succinct and unpretentious vocabulary, coupled with similar streamlined sentence structures, yields profundity and elevates the likelihood of obtaining the paramount....blah, blah. blah 






B     [Better stories next month]



Only a woman who’s delivered a baby without an epidural can truly understand the pain a man goes through when he has the flu.

😞