March, 2021

Incoming!

We had great company this month when daughter Cassie and two of her kids came to visit for a week. We ground all projects to a halt and spent time launching rockets, going to the beach, chasing each other around our play area, roasting marshmallows and making smores on the fire pit.

We even had a special ceremony at home, as all churches are pretty well closed or restricted. Cassie wanted her little Lindy baptized, so a local pastor did the honors in our living room and it all went off without a hitch.

Project update

After organizing the re sealing of our 600 foot driveway and the installation of a new whole house furnace and air conditioning system last month, building the Pergola, the BBQ and the wood fired Pizza oven, 'SHE, who must be obeyed' pointedly reminded me that being a lazy husband was not exactly an endearing quality. So, I set out in an attempt to redeem myself.

2016 before building deck at the top of this wall

A few years when I built our Tiger wood deck, I gave the supporting wall facing a stone finish like I had done to the in and outside wall of the house. There are times when I get ahead of myself and there can be a significant amount of time between phases of a project, especially when our seasons here usually last 4 months but it really means there is a calendar year between them. Add to that updates on the sequence of projects by the senior management around here and sometimes things can take a little longer. (Husbands can read between the lines here)

The deck built with the supporting framed wall for the cantilevered deck

At the time, this supporting wall was not visible from much of the upper deck as the plan was to pour a 550 Sq Ft (50 sq m) lower cement patio with a fire pit and waterfall the following year. I maybe as slow as molasses but with few exceptions I usually do get around to finishing projects. Well, over the past month, I did redeem myself by squeezing this one in. 

Getting a Canadian suntan ( And you wonder why I left the country!)

We can hardly wait to get to the airport

February, 2021

 

You may have noticed that last month our little newsletter was rather short as there was little to write about. I don't like to talk about 'what we are going to do' but only what we have actually done. Plans may come and go but completed projects are a done deal. As many of those projects are now completed we have long tall tales to write about.

Honey, we need a BBQ!

                                                                                    Yes dear....

Years ago, as in many, many years ago, I built this 5 X 10 foot (1.70 m X 3.3M) split faced block foundation for what was to be a wood fired BBQ. Slipping way back on the to-do list, it served as a burn bin and saw many years of service disposing of all manner of wood scraps from projects plus tons of garden weeds and debris from all over our 3 acre property. As we have developed more of our 'yard' it became obvious that I had been a little over enthusiastic in super sizing the structure. It was big enough to BBQ a whole cow. Besides, in the meantime, the boss had decided she now preferred a professional commercial grill. So, I got busy and retired the burn bin and put Humpty Dumpty together. 

Over the past 60 days, we have worked on and completed a few other large projects. Some expensive but not so sexy like replacing the furnace and air conditioning system in the house, as well as having our 600 foot driveway and large parking area re-sealed. Important infrastructure stuff to keep the house fresh and new. Other projects completed were...

Honey, can you build a pizza oven?

Can I build a pizza oven?

Is the Pope Catholic?

Roll the dough out baby, I am almost there!

Our family grows

 

Well temporarily anyway. Our granddaughter Maddie changed schools last month and was now doing all her classes online. So we invited her to stay with us until we leave in May, if we can. It has been a while since we have had a teenager in the house so we are back to enjoying the chitter chatter of a girl giggling on the phone at all hours and are struggling to keep her favorite ice cream flavor in stock. She is currently trying to land a couple of part time jobs to fill her piggy bank for when she will launch herself in May.

Statistics

California is still a terrific place to live but unfortunately has lost an awful lot of its luster. Without getting on with another one of my often unwelcomed political rants, the fact is that many current policies and decisions have allowed, enabled and encouraged the things that have diminished the quality of life of the states residents. The homeless population in the big cities has exploded to an unprecedented level, causing an exodus not only to the more rural areas but out of the state altogether. In San Francisco, thousands of homeless are currently housed in city hotels at taxpayers expense. Since the poor are stuck, it is folks with financial means that are leaving. The homeless issue has begun to show itself ever so slowly in our county also but to relatively negligible state, to date. Thankfully, we are untouched in our immediate area.

The ongoing debate (more like a war really) over allowing illegal aliens (called undocumented migrants by some) to access the resources paid for by the state taxpayers is tearing at the social fabric because less resources are then available for the wants and needs of the citizens (Hospital upgrades, road maintenance, parks, etc.) Elections have consequences and the new administration has clearly decided the direction this discussion will go. (You see, I can be diplomatic!!)

Meanwhile, the cost of living in California to pay for these policies is very high and we have the highest taxes in the country. I stumbled across some statistics and it showed that the cost of a home in California is over twice the national average. In the county we live in, it is well over 3 times the national 'average' at $733,000. In San Francisco, the average home price is set at $1.6 million.

Its official

Our tickets have been refunded and we have been kicked to the curb. Much like Michael Jackson, we have been told to "Just Beat It!". France has pulled the rug out from under us and told us that with the current Covid situation we may not return to our home until further notice. The current plan is to return to the Island in Canada in early May, unless we are 'persona non grata' there too.  We just might be. 

The Canadian government has announced that any non essential travelers that fly into the country must not only produce a Covid free test but must quarantine for three days at a government designated hotel at a cost of nearly $2000 per person. No that is not a typo. Then, you can proceed to your home to self quarantine for the next 14 days.

If you drive in (like us) you must also provide a Covid free test and if you don't have one there is a $2370 fine. Is it me or am I feeling the welcome mat being pulled from under me? 

Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.

January, 2021

                                

                                  Christmas 

...came and went without much fanfare. We did have the pleasure of having daughter Kami and her beloved Finn plus our oldest grand daughter Maddie with us. 

Our 19 year old Maddie spent the better part of a month with us as her University dorm was closed for the holidays and Covid, of course. She is an avid TicTock fan and contributor and so we spent many outings scouting for locations for her to shoot her short videos. TicTock, to the uninitiated, is a massively popular Chinese program that allows young users to create 60 second videos and to edit them with special effects then upload them to the web.  

Initially, I dismissed it as a light hearted pastime until she reported that she had over 6,000 views and 19,000 followers, compared to the few family and friends I coerce to read my monthly blather. Soon, grand pa started wondering how we could monetize this sucker. Imaginative beyond her years and without an ounce of self consciousness, she would dress in her fantasy outfits (including Elf ears) and perform to her cell phone camera in public places to the gawking wonder of passer-by's.

The bonus for us was that the time spent with her allowed grandparent conversations that were designed to gently guide and influence young thinking and to offer an alternative point of view from what she is exposed to from friends and school. There is a reason why it is said that if you are not still a Liberal at 30, you have no heart but if you are not a conservative at 40, you have no brain.

Other news you can't use

While not apparent here, we have been as busy as beavers with our house projects but as of this writing they are not finished so there is nothing to report. With 6 weeks to go before we transition to Europe (if they let us go) we are watching the calendar as well as the news with all the ongoing restrictions, lockdowns and new regulations of the day. 

Ironically, our biggest issue at the moment is that we STILL do not have our car back from the dealership. When we first arrived in late October we discovered that once again, like last year, mice and rats had chewed through all the electrical harnesses in the engine compartment of our car. Our car is parked in our driveway for our 8 month absence and the critters had their way with it.

Last year it was a $5,000 repair, mostly covered by insurance. This year with a month long rental plus towing and the repair it was $6000. Within days we noticed the windshield fluid sprayer was not working so we took it back in. That is when they discovered the mice had chewed though the plastic tubing... as well as the fuel lines and the gas tank. A month later and the parts have still not arrived so we go from one rental to another. This latest repair? A cool $5000. ... but the rental is on us.

December, 2020

 

Once again, I am here to announce that reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. My daughter recently sent me a letter from Germany but it was returned to her from the post office with a notice that it could not be delivered as I was DECEASED. A little premature, it would seem, for someone who has yet to reach middle age. Clearly, they have not gotten the memo about my being bulletproof.

This means that I joined the thousands of others who voted in our recent election who were registered on the county rolls as having been dead for years. And you thought it was just a conspiracy theory!

This is actually the second time I have been reported to be pushing up daisies, as years ago there was some confusion in a newspaper about my grandfathers passing and mine. I am not sure if this is just the Democrat party getting their hopes up or what, but I do know that Janice's reaction was "Well that explains why I have been getting so little work out of you". Never one to miss an opportunity, she immediately wanted to call the insurance company to see if she could collect some kind of death benefit.

If you still have doubts, I offer this 'proof of life'.

News from Janice's chain gang

Last year, we had a cement slab poured for a second outdoor patio area with the intention of building a pergola on it this year. True to the promise, I had a free morning... oh, and afternoon... so I went out and put the 12' X 18' Pergola together. Or was it 3 weeks of free mornings and afternoons? Anyways, that cat being in the bag means I have time to move on to do something productive. The boss has many more great ideas for things for me to do.

This months bits and pieces

1) Daughter Kami made an overnight drive by visit when her work assignment ended in Los Angeles before her return home to New Orleans. Of course, she was accompanied by her fur baby Mr. Finn.

2) We had an acquaintance forward us an article from the Daily Mail newspaper. This is a major newspaper in London, England and the article in question was a feature in the travel section regarding the Thousand Islands. It was a full throated detailed description of the area and it's history and to our utter surprise and delight made two references to our beloved Honey Bee Island. 

3) In our state's ongoing effort to prevent us from having too much fun, our Governor imposed a 3 week curfew from 10 PM to 5 AM. No, not a 'lockdown' as in closing restaurants and all (like everywhere else) or a quarantine (like if you had Covid), no this is a WWII style curfew where you could not leave your home during those hours unless you were a critical worker. Not an issue for us as the only people out during those hours are crooks and bad women. Meanwhile, 19 counties are under 'stay at home orders' with basically everything shut down. The saving grace is that our governor (Mr. Newsom) owns a winery in Napa valley which remains open...

4) School is out for a month so our granddaughter Maddie decided to come spend part of it with us. She is attending an art college in Los Angeles and the dorm closed for the holidays. After giving her the nickel tour of the area, we turned her loose to explore and visit on her own. Meanwhile, we try to stay out of the way as spending a month with your grandparents cannot possibly be on anyone's bucket list.

5) We live 29 miles from the Vandenberg Air force base. Frequently, they fire off super secret rockets with military payloads. Well, the payloads and their purpose maybe super secret but the launches are not as we see them from our house. Two years ago I went to the gates of the base with a friend (the closest the public can get) to see one of the Space X launches up close and personal. Otherwise, we sit on our deck with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks from here.

"Hey hon, the dryer is beeping, we are almost out of beer and when is lunch going to be ready?" 😁

November, 2020

 

A two 'fer

Announcing a kid's engagement is always a big event in any parent's life but TWO at the same time? YIKES!! # 1 son Wesley recently popped the question to his intended Amanda and while we were visiting them in Idaho last month they showed us the outdoor venue they are interested in using for the event.

Then again, Cassie's guy Art took her over the moon by suggesting they tie the knot too. We now find ourselves pacing around the house humming "Here comes the bride".

After our visit with Wes and Amanda, we drove to Anacortes Washington to catch up with Amy's family and the 6 remaining kids at home ranging in ages from 18 months to 16 years. A Chinese fire drill comes to mind.

Building a rocket with my brain trust and fellow scientists

And we have lift off!

The full 36 second flight can be seen here

Then it was off to our home for the coming season. We arrived to our usual 2 weeks of yearly maintenance, touch up painting, mowing 3 acres, washing all windows, shampooing sofas and carpets, fence repair, deep cleaning the entire house, yada, yada, yada. Now we are ready to start this years ambitious projects before our projected March 1st departure for France. We have our tickets, so now we will get to see if they allow us to come.

Meanwhile, we are heading for another lock down of sorts in California but we still managed to get a few visits in with my favorite mother in law.

Politics

Last month I wrote that if President Trump won I would not gloat. As it turns out, baring an intervention by the Lord himself, soon to be President elect Biden will lead us for the foreseeable future. My mother always taught me that if I had nothing nice to say then I should bite my tongue and say nothing at all, so I will follow her advice.

(biting tongue here)

If you voted for soon to be President elect Biden, I congratulate you on your political win. I hope you are happy, my tongue is now a bloody mess.

The Crash explained

After my recent plane crash there was a flurry of obvious questions. Like what the hell happened, for starters? Why did the engine quit - twice? Close examination recently revealed the not so obvious culprit. The plane referred to in the following report was mine.

....and the rest is history.

                       

 

October, 2020

                            Hmmmmm....

I don't quite know what happened but it seems that some folks did not get the Epistle last month. If so, it follows this month's at the bottom of the page.

On the road again....

    October is when the summer bills are due so it was time to fly the coop. We left the island days ago and flew to New Orleans just hours after hurricane Delta hammered the Louisiana coast nearby. This was the first leg of our yearly pilgrimage to visit kids and grandkids all over the country and we started with daughter Kami. An adventurous one, she took us to visit a southern Antebellum estate, an airboat ride through the bayous surrounded by alligators and a visit to to the MS Rau antique store where among many other treasures you can pick up a simple $9,500,000 'Renee Magritte'  painting to hang in that little corner of your living room.

Airboat ride through the swamp

As we go to press, we have just flown to Seattle Washington, where we have rented a car and are driving to Idaho to visit our Son Wesley and his fiance Amanda.

    Well, it's that time again... time to put our big boy drinking pants on, as the US presidential election is scheduled for next month. No matter what is said, feelings will be hurt, egos will be dented, tempers will flare and it will be a thorny, knock down, drag out debate. Let's get started.        

    We here at the Epistle pride ourselves and are known for being completely non partisan, impartial, neutral, balanced and absolutely factual in these matters. In fact, based on what I write you would probably have no idea where I stand politically. Am I a clear thinking conservative or a mooching and looting global warming liberal? How would you know, since I am all about keeping my opinions to myself? It is what allows me to make and share reasoned objective judgements.

    I could comment about keeping the adults in the room we currently have or turning the asylum over to the inmates but I won't because, well as I said, being circumspect, objective and non partisan, I keep my opinions to myself. In spite of struggling with low self esteem, I love that I am always right.

The front entrance to daughter Kami's house.

Now I ask you, as a father where did I go wrong?

    I know these can be trying and confusing times for some. Because of that, I just wanted you to know that if you are among them, purely as a public service, I and the entire Republican party are here for you and stand ready to help guide you through the choices you will be asked to make to Keep America Great Again. Remember, Republicans vote on November 3rd. Democrats vote on November 4th...  

    If the sleepy bed wetter wins, you will get to gloat next month. If my guy wins, I won't say a peep because, well you know, I  keep my opinions to myself.   

I love you man.

Unbelievable

My 96 year old mother was hospitalized for several days last month. I have witnessed first hand her short stay in her local hospital a year ago but I was on quarantine when she was admitted this time. I am sorry if what I think of the Canadian health system offends some dear Canadian friends and family but the reality (at least in this case) is unarguable. 

OK, here's the riddle. What is the difference between the health care shown in these two pictures?

This is Vietnam and they have to sit on the floor in the hallways

This was the health care in my mothers Canadian hospital. They don't have to sit on the floor, they get to stay on a gurney in the hallway as there are no hospital beds available.

Imagine you are here for days. What can you do except watch the ceiling? 

TV?     Of course not.

Visitors?     No, because of Covid.

Where do I put the flowers my son sent me? "We have them at the nurses station".

Some friends have learned that to be seen by a doctor and not have to be put on months long waiting lists, they must report to the emergency room where you can't be turned away. But hey, "It's free", right?

I report, you decide.

September, 2020

The boss returns

Having spent a month with daughter Cassie, with 3 kids and 3 dogs climbing all over her face, as well as a visit from daughter Amy and 3 of her kids, Janice returned right on time to quarantine for 2 weeks. (What else is new?) She had a splendid time with great memories created with the kids and was eager to feed me before I lost any more weight.

Look grandma! I am slipping and sliding!

Future Parnelli Jones?

 

What a difference a month makes

Well its been a month since I wrote about my flying saga and ever so slowly I have made a 90% recovery to date. Gone are all the cuts and bruises. Some have said that with age it would take longer but that's ridiculous. Just the other day I was noticing that I had gone nearly 12 minutes without needing to pee. I will admit that I was worried as until very recently, my feet still felt like they had been beaten with a baseball bat and I wondered if they would ever completely heal. Without getting into a knock down discussion about politics, there are only 3 things I can't stand: needles, physical pain and not getting my way. But then I reminded myself that being bulletproof, it would take a lot more than an airplane crash to put me down. Besides it gave me enough time to take up bird watching, start a bug collection and binge watch 20 years of "As the world turns".

I have been told by many just how lucky I was not only to survive but to have had so few injuries. Seriously, I get it, really. But words have meaning and if you are a person of faith, you know perfectly well that 'luck' had absolutely nothing to do with it. We call it being blessed for a reason. I had two serious accidents on the water previously. What I failed to share with anyone at the time and pretty much only float plane pilots know, was the fact that 60% of aviation accidents on water result in a drowning. I survived two of them without so much as a bruise. The worse that happened was that my clothes got really wet. Pretty 'lucky', huh?

20 minutes before

1 hour later in the hospital

7 weeks later

Meanwhile, as Janice and I take turns meeting our medical appointments, we alternate which one of us is on yet another 14 day quarantine. With few breaks in between, we have now effectively been on lock down for the past  6 1/2 months, since March 1 in France. We have just realized that in all that time, the trash has gone out more than we have. Yet, when this is all over, we will still want some people to stay away from us ;) As I write, we return home to the US in 3 weeks, the day after we complete our latest quarantine here.

The Bee turns 20

Hard for us to believe but our beloved Honey Bee is now 20 years old. Well, it's obviously been around a lot longer than that and has had American owners since the late 1800's but we have been it's caretakers for the past 20 years.

We found it unexpectedly after traveling through Nova Scotia, considering the purchase of an island there but quickly realised that an ocean island was logistically all but impossible and besides, no one we knew would ever come to visit. Certainly none of our kids. We were on a vacation to attend a family reunion for my grandfathers 100th birthday held in Ottawa in 2000 when we spent a few days in the islands to visit Bolt Castle. We were having cocktails on the waterfront dock at the Gananoque Inn when Janice pulled out a real estate flyer showing the island for sale. The next morning we were on the water with the agent and by nightfall we were pretty much the owners.

Our teenage daughters who were enthusiastic about the purchase initially, refused to set foot in the mouse infested, dilapidated, just this side of a tear down sorry excuse for a former fishing cabin. It had no water or power but was within our nonexistent budget and our starry eyes could see nothing but potential. Our few immediate neighbors feared the worse, that the Californians would tear it down and build a glass and chrome monstrosity. It took 2 years to get a submarine power cable to the island while the agent who sold it to us assumed we had lost interest and offered to re sell it.

A mere 4 summers of 1 month vacation periods of dragging boatloads of trash to the dump, cooking under a tarp on the deck and living with bags of insulation in the living room, allowed us to have a flushing toilet at last. Slowly, things have improved ever since. In the end it seems to have worked out since numerous magazine articles, a book and a TV special segment have been devoted to the end result. But for us, it is just the Bee. Our beloved summer home.

Here is a sample

                       Making a grand entrance

Well the fleet grows. Being the proud owners of 6 vessels (two boats, two jet skis, a canoe and a boat the size of a bathtub to float flowers off our dock) we decided to add one more. Our choice had more holes and cracks in it than Swiss cheese, and could float like a brick. Besides, it was too long so I cut 6 feet out of the middle of it. OK, so it was not terribly expensive but heck, we are not made of money you know!

The saving grace were friends who allowed us to harvest Birch bark from their wooded property so I could do my Robinson Crusoe thing. The resulting effort now marks the entrance to Honey Bee Island. 

A sign of the times