The Corona thing
Corona virus? What Corona virus?
OK, so we have good news and bad news. The good news is that we are still alive. The bad news is that we are wondering for how long. We are in 3 of the high risk groups with age, Janice being on chemo and me being diabetic and being type A blood type. We have been hunkered down for a month, in virtual total isolation as are the rest of the unwashed masses. We have only left the house for medical appointments and to get groceries once a week or so. Oh, and the occasional authorized neighborhood walk. We have visited no one. We can't decide if we feel like we are in the witness protection program or like teenagers who have been seriously grounded.
Since March 16th, France has been on total lock down. A number of cities, states and countries joined in in the weeks after but here there is a big difference. It is not a suggestion or an order with no teeth as in most other jurisdictions. Here, no one is allowed out of their house without an authorized valid reason. Qualifying reasons? Medical appointments, getting groceries, going to a critical work site (not us), going to assist a vulnerable family member (not us) or exercising alone for up to one hour in the immediate vicinity of your home.
All persons going outside of their homes need to download, print and complete the government form below, explaining why they are away from home, where they are going and why. The form needs to be dated, with your departure time, signed and be in your possession each time you are out. A new form needs to be filled out for each outing. Failure to have the form with you or being out for an unauthorized reason results in a $150 fine. The lock down is not a suggestion. A second offence carries a $1600 fine, with a third offence $4,500 and up to 6 months in jail for miscreants. It is a flashback to WWII, with the Gestapo demanding "YOUR PAPERS?". Below is the form itself.
At the same time, earlier in the past month we were watching the news, seeing people cheek by jowl on the beaches in Florida. We are mindful of all the things we touch everyday and had not given a thought to it. Gas pump handles, ATM screens, any public door handle, even small change. How many thousands of people have touched and handled them? We are now guilty of money laundering, washing all the coins in our pockets.
I know that we all get it. It's a draconian measure with the goal of crushing the spread of the virus. We are also very mindful that we have nothing to complain about, lounging on one of the 3 huge terraces we have, in warm sunny weather with the waves of the Med crashing on the rocks below. We could be like thousands of others, locked up in a small apartment with a view of other apartments around us. Our ability to get to the island in Canada in June is still up in the air with borders closed everywhere. We may have to bring a few marines with us, raise an American flag on the island and annex it to the US. The real issue might be if any planes are flying back from Europe in the first place.
We have asked ourselves if we should have returned earlier and our answer was 'absolutely not'. We are every bit as comfortable here as we would be anywhere, and there is as much virus here as anywhere. We have not seen lines outside of groceries stores and empty shelves. So what would have been the point? Not being Eskimos, going to Canada in March was out of the question. We did not heed the US department of state's recommendation that we return immediately 'before the window closes'. We believed that this would resolve itself by June or July when our visa would expire. We hope we don't regret our decision. Currently, the French government extended the lock down here until May 11th.
Happy anniversary! (Practicing social distancing)
There have been other consequences though. In a clear case of age discrimination, Team Rubicon has notified me that they will not deploy anyone over the age of 65 for the time being. Not that they are sending anyone anywhere at the moment anyway. If they keep it up later, I might have to go online to 'birthcetificatesRus' to get a ...ummm... corrected one and update my records. It's funny how paranoid we can become. The least sneeze or cough can stop me cold wondering if I now have Covid. Then I remember that I am bullet proof and all fear disappears.
The good news is that when this all over, many will still have a lifetime supply of toilet paper. Why anyone felt the need to stock up is beyond me, as the virus affects your lungs, not your bum. Meanwhile, this Epistle may be a little long in the tooth as I have had an extraordinary amount of free time to think and write this month. Then again, you have an extraordinary amount of free time to read it, no?
In case you are wondering, we really do understand
Project update
Seriously, we have taken advantage of this unexpected turn of events to move forward with our reno work here. Having completed the lower level living room, dining room and 2 bedrooms (one with an en suite) in the past few seasons, we still had a bathroom, a bedroom, a laundry room, a kitchen and a storage room to finish. It is the last area of the villa to wrap up in the lower part of the house. We had planned to do a little work this year but also to take our sweet time, travel and spend a lot of time with friends. We would get done what ever got done. No sweat.
That no longer being the case, we have returned to work here with a vengeance. It's like groundhog day. Every day, we have the same routine. Get up, eat, work till lunch, work till dinner, watch TV, bed. Repeat. Fortunately, I had a good deal of material before they closed all stores and building material suppliers. It will now be much closer to being completed before we leave, but we will have to wait till some suppliers re open to wrap it up. Our time, even under isolation, is being used productively.
Very few suppliers are still open, and only to provide 'critical' materials like roofing or plumbing supplies if you have a leak or need wiring and such. When I contacted a few, they told me they would only sell to tradesmen who had established accounts with them. Basically, they told me to go pound sand and that me or anything that looked like me could make like Michael Jackson and 'Just Beat It". Nice.
One supplier would sell to individuals but on the following conditions. You order from their incredibly limited supply and pay on line, then wait for them to call you with an appointment to pick your order up 4-5 days later. When you arrive you are required to stay in your car and show the man your receipt through your driver window. He fetches the goods and places them next to your car door and leaves. Only then can you get out and load it in your car. Personal contact? Absolutely none.
Meanwhile, I got the bathroom pretty much done in the first week. Water lines run through channels in the walls for tub, sink and toilet. Power to lights cut into the ceiling and Travertine stone tile throughout. Then all came to a standstill as no grout was available. Next was the bedroom. A little electrical work, Janice's custom finish seen below and we were good to go. The laundry room was soon a wrap, awaiting cabinets that we are currently unable to order.
The toughest part of the entire project by far came next. The kitchen is a cement box, kind of WWII bunker style. All electrical and plumbing needed to be installed from scratch. Not being real fond of the frequently used french style of surfacing mounting pipes and wire channels, we wanted to bury the lot behind walls and the ceiling. It all being concrete meant cutting channels in cement everywhere. Very slow and incredibly tedious. Each of the 18 encased ceiling light fixtures took 45 minutes to drill and jack hammer out an opening while standing under a shower of cement dust. It was more fun than I should be allowed to have for free.
Janice taking a break from cooking, doing the laundry and gardening.
I love work, I can watch it for hours.
A stroll down memory lane
I can't help myself. Once again, I am republishing a story from 6 years ago that just seems perfect for this month as we celebrated our 36th anniversary. Be patient with me, I promise I won't make it a habit.
The riddle
OK, what do you get when you put a guy with big plans but little time for a haircut, together with a woman who is VERY ambitious and plays 'Grand theft auto" with his hormones?
I told you she was ambitious
The woman can drag the moon out of orbit so after 36 years this month, I wonder? Am I a keeper, or will she will toss me back into the sea? Somehow, someone got a video of my first date with Janice. (You really should watch it in full screen)
The voice recording was lost but as I recall, it went something like this..
"C'mon baby, you know you want to!"
"Get away from me, I'm not that kind of girl"
" I won't tell anyone, I promise"
"You boys only have one thing on your minds"
"Gimme a break, I NEED you"
"Away, you creep"
"Ahhhh...."
Travel blues
OK, I get it. It's a first world problem, so cry me a river. That said, it's still a real drag. Every year we book our round trip airline tickets (round trip meaning all three destinations) almost a year ahead. We don't benefit from any discounts because each one of the travel segments are 4 months apart. Of course flying steerage or cargo as we do, it goes without saying that all our tickets are non refundable, non exchangeable and non anything able.
We pick the flights we want at the outset with reasonable connection times. If we change our minds for any reason and dare ask for a change of any kind, they are happy to accommodate for several hundred dollars each. I know, I know, it's not a problem for you flying business or first class but for us little people, it can be. On the other hand, the airlines can change flight times, connections or whatever with no penalties. It was a little rich to see many airlines refusing to refund tickets during the virus shut down but were salivating at the trough for a government bailout - ultimately paid by those very people who lost their tickets, the taxpayers.
It never fails, every year we get several emails from them over the months after we have our prepaid confirmed tickets to tell us that they have made changes that make the flight times and / or connections significantly less convenient for us. Tough patooties. The thing is, I am far too important and my time is way too valuable to deal with these minor details, so I simply call on my travel concierge to straighten things out. Since she just finished doing the laundry and is currently making lunch, she will get right on it shortly.
Besides, her skill set is more attuned to being on hold for hours on end because of their "unusually high call volumes". She does take solace in that the recordings always remind her that her call is very important to them.
If you know of any petitions to address this miscarriage of justice, let me know. I would sign it in a New York minute.
