The Epistle turns 100!
France has a lot of
positive aspects but administratively it can be quite rigid and not particularly
user friendly. In short, creaking and anachronistic. Recently, I wanted to notify our bank (which
also provides our home and auto insurance here) of a change of address for all
future correspondence.
Listen, I completely understand that you might think this is just a yarn to make a good story…so here's another you won’t believe either.
Meanwhile, at some point one of
the councilmen caught wind of the story and made an issue of it. Recently while
attending a small veteran’s ceremony here, we were informed by the councilman
that it had been approved. This was evidence of not just the durability of the
plan but of the sustaining power of procrastination. Still, as of this writing we have not been officially notified of the decision. It's only been 5 years.
Well, maybe doesn't 'turn' 100, but is 100. Like, the 100th one. Or is it 'this is #100'? In any case, since I retired over 8 years ago and began scribbling our monthly letter to family and friends, this is the 100th such rambling I have subjected you to. Over the years, I have often told Janice that it would be the last Epistle as I couldn't think of anything else I could possibly write about.
Then, over the next month, one or two things seemed to pop up. According to the actuarial tables, you will be subjected to as little as 100 more Epistle's or as many as 400. Think about it, where else can you read such politically astute witty prose and learn about tons of things you had no interest in?
This is a good time to remind you that you probably receive our little monthly newsletter because you requested it. If not, it was because I decided you should get it anyway. I don't want this thing to bug you, so for only $79.95 ( 4 easy payments of $19.99) I can remove you from the distribution list and save you the hassle of clicking on the DELETE button every month. Then see if you ever hear from us again!
Then, over the next month, one or two things seemed to pop up. According to the actuarial tables, you will be subjected to as little as 100 more Epistle's or as many as 400. Think about it, where else can you read such politically astute witty prose and learn about tons of things you had no interest in?
This is a good time to remind you that you probably receive our little monthly newsletter because you requested it. If not, it was because I decided you should get it anyway. I don't want this thing to bug you, so for only $79.95 ( 4 easy payments of $19.99) I can remove you from the distribution list and save you the hassle of clicking on the DELETE button every month. Then see if you ever hear from us again!
We've been hacked, again.
As you well know, for the second time in 18 months we have been victims of a Nigerian scam. An old email account linked to our current email address was hacked and a bogus email was sent out to everyone in our address book requesting money to bail us out of a fix in the Philippines.
Please, NEVER reply to any email request for money from us. While I was proud of all of you for not falling for the scam, it did remind me that if I was ever in a real fix, I am clearly on my own. ;( As a result, we have begun using a military grade encrypted password. If only I could remember what it was.
Please, NEVER reply to any email request for money from us. While I was proud of all of you for not falling for the scam, it did remind me that if I was ever in a real fix, I am clearly on my own. ;( As a result, we have begun using a military grade encrypted password. If only I could remember what it was.
French administration
Since we have reintroduced our home in California into the mix,
we want all of our mail to go only there. The US postal system may well have
its issues, but it is really good at forwarding our mail anywhere in the world. We merely have to change our address with them
every 4 months, and it follows us as relentlessly as a Democrat chasing a tax hike.
Anyway, I called our bank here to
notify them of the change and was told it could not be done over the phone but
only in person. OK, fine. Dropping by the nearest branch I was told that I
could only do it at the main office, not a satellite branch. Flustered, I drove to the main office but was
then asked to provide ‘justification’ for the change. What they wanted was
‘proof’ that I had a home in California, justifying the need for the
change of address.
I argued that it made
no difference to them if I had a home there or not, in that if I didn't pay
whatever bill was owed they would simply close my account or cancel my
insurance. Besides, it was none of their business, period. The manager insisted
that I needed to provide them with a copy of a California utility or tax bill
to prove I had a home there…… as if this would be a document I would take on a
trip to Europe.
Suddenly, I remembered a maneuver
daughter Mandy had used in a similar no win situation in Germany. I pulled out
my law enforcement identification card (Mandy used her driver’s license) and handed
it to him. He looked at it, somewhat confused and asked “what do you want me to
do with this?” Feigning surprise, I said “Well, scan the hologram that's on it
for the information you want”.
He looked at both sides of my ID
card, then at me totally bewildered. “You
mean you don’t have an optically generated IZP (interferometric zone plate) hologram scanner” I asked
incredulously with a touch of derisiveness? “In America”, I explained, “We have
all of our vital legal and medical information imbedded in the hologram you see
on our ID cards”. “That way, it's always available to us no matter where we
are”. He and two other bank employees examined that hologram under
different light conditions and shook their heads.
After a quick telephone
consultation with a colleague, he decided that he would accept my verbal
information…until they got their hologram scanner. Good luck with that, Sparky!
Listen, I completely understand that you might think this is just a yarn to make a good story…so here's another you won’t believe either.
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| "Trompe Oeuil" Janice had painted on our terrace wall next to the sauna |
5 years ago, Janice painted a
‘Trompe Oeuil’ on our terrace wall. You know, one of those paintings on a
cement wall that even from a short distance fools the eye, and makes you think
you see something that isn’t really there, like the rocks in the wall in the picture above. A little painting ‘magic’ if you
will.
Several people commented on how much they liked it, so in an attempt to integrate ourselves a little more in the village, Janice offered to paint a 9’X 8’ [3X3 m] scene on a cement wall of a small public building that is in the village square.
Several people commented on how much they liked it, so in an attempt to integrate ourselves a little more in the village, Janice offered to paint a 9’X 8’ [3X3 m] scene on a cement wall of a small public building that is in the village square.
Although I suggested a scene of American troops landing
on the beaches coming to the rescue of the French, Janice opted for flowers and
climbing vines. The village council debated the
question of her suggestion at several town hall meetings,
as these kinds of important issues cannot be made lightly in a small village.
Even our offer to pay for all the paint and supplies held little sway.
Finally,
we resigned ourselves to accept that no decision on their part was a decision.
We didn’t know if it was because a couple of Americans dared to suggest a way to
embellish a little corner of the village or if it was just small town politics.
In the end, we didn’t care. We came and went every year since and forgot about
it. After all, it was just an offer, intended as a gift.
Time to go
It's getting to be that time again. Thoughts of packing up and heading to the Bee and the ecstatic thrill of our summer island life. Man, do we love that place! Still, there was much to do before we pulled the plug.
First, we bottled 66 liters of wine (88 bottles) to add to our aging stash, did a little maintenance around the place before leaving for the season, and I returned to the village forge to beat some metal to make a dining room light fixture for the house here and forge a second light fixture and plant hanger to take to the island.
The plant hanger can barely fit in a suitcase as it will support a second 3 foot wide (1M) X 4 foot tall (1.3M) hanging flower basket that weights close to 100 pounds (46 Kilos) at each end of our dock. These things are always fun to check in at the airport...
Then, we made a day trip to the village of Quimperle in the south of Brittany with Philippe and Evelyne and visited cute little ports and villages in the area. They will be flying for their first visit to North America and spend 10 days with us at the Island in September.
This month, we were also invited to a French wedding, held at yet another friends castle. ["How come we don't have a castle?" Janice asks!] 'Crec'h Bleiz' (I can't pronounce it either) castle dates from the 1600's and has a superb panoramic view of Iliec island on our coastline. This was famed aviator Charles Lindbergh's home prior to WWII.
While weddings are usually held in churches here, no priest, pastor, rabi or minister can legally marry anyone. They officiate at the religious ceremony's but the marriage only becomes legal when performed before or after by a government official, usually the mayor. Actually, the service was held in a 16th century chapel nearby, while the reception was held at the castle itself. With only 300 people attending, there was plenty of room. The groom being in the military, he had his fellow soldiers provide them with the ceremony seen below.
This was followed by our attending a ceremony to honor those in our village who were part of the WWII resistance movement and were executed by the Nazi's. We are nothing if not flexible in the type of events we attend.
Click on the video to see the view from the top
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, once a year our local Cathedral allows people to visit the tippy top of the tower. Needless to say, it is quite a view once you have climbed the 147 incredibly narrow and worn steps in the circular tower leading to the top. It was a good dry run for a few of us who were recruited to crawl through the interior medieval catwalks, to hang banners and ceremonial flags for the for the upcoming Saint Yves 'pardon' which will occur on May 19th.
This 'pardon' is not like something a president grants to some nefarious characters. It is more like a pilgrimage of Catholics gone wild, a penitential ceremony and one of the most traditional demonstrations of popular Catholicism in Brittany. It is their version of a St. Patrick's day parade but without the beer.
We have seen these kind of ceremonies in Italy, where each church in an area tries to outdo the others, by carrying religiously symbolic 'floats' along a procession route. The dozen men required to carry each of these hefty weights are spelled by others waiting nearby along the route.
Anyway, it is a big deal around these parts and its the first time we have been here at the time of the year to be able to attend the event. Janice, having converted to Catholicism, is over the moon. This is far more than just a religious event. Its integral to the cultural fabric of the region and is part pageantry, part theater and from what I hear, just plain over the top.
We will surely have more to say about it next month after we have seen it for ourselves.
Meanwhile, Janice put the finishing touches on her latest paintings, then plowed through a bunch more dinner parties to make sure we covered all our bases with friends before we left. How that woman loves to cook!
I made time to help my buddy Loic punch a hole in a 30" thick (70 cm), 300 year old dry stone (no mortar) wall to build a doorway. Punching the hole is easy, the tricky part is keeping the many tons of stone wall above it from collapsing until you rebuild the supports below. One tiny miscalculation and the whole enchilada comes crashing down.
John on the other hand, asked if I could help raise 3 serious beams on a job site he was working on. Funny thing was that he was more concerned about making sure I would mention him in the Epistle than he was about the risking of my life and limb to raise the beams themselves. By the way some folks talk, you would think this thing was the bloody New York Times or something.
All in all, just a quiet month at the Laprade household.
This month, the 'I made my parents proud of me' award goes to Cassie Anna. Recently, Cassie decided that she was going to return to school full time, while working part time to make ends meet. She is attending Clark College in Vancouver Washington, studying to be an ASL (American Sign Language) translator, something she has had a passion for since she was a teenager. You go, girl!
As for you, we hope you have a nice day. Unless you've made other plans.
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| New dining room light fixture |
First, we bottled 66 liters of wine (88 bottles) to add to our aging stash, did a little maintenance around the place before leaving for the season, and I returned to the village forge to beat some metal to make a dining room light fixture for the house here and forge a second light fixture and plant hanger to take to the island.
 |
| Plant hanger on the dock by our boat |
The plant hanger can barely fit in a suitcase as it will support a second 3 foot wide (1M) X 4 foot tall (1.3M) hanging flower basket that weights close to 100 pounds (46 Kilos) at each end of our dock. These things are always fun to check in at the airport...
 |
| Close up |
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| Closer still |
Then, we made a day trip to the village of Quimperle in the south of Brittany with Philippe and Evelyne and visited cute little ports and villages in the area. They will be flying for their first visit to North America and spend 10 days with us at the Island in September.
 |
| Janice in Quimperle |
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| Crec'h Bleiz castle |
While weddings are usually held in churches here, no priest, pastor, rabi or minister can legally marry anyone. They officiate at the religious ceremony's but the marriage only becomes legal when performed before or after by a government official, usually the mayor. Actually, the service was held in a 16th century chapel nearby, while the reception was held at the castle itself. With only 300 people attending, there was plenty of room. The groom being in the military, he had his fellow soldiers provide them with the ceremony seen below.
 | ||||
|
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, once a year our local Cathedral allows people to visit the tippy top of the tower. Needless to say, it is quite a view once you have climbed the 147 incredibly narrow and worn steps in the circular tower leading to the top. It was a good dry run for a few of us who were recruited to crawl through the interior medieval catwalks, to hang banners and ceremonial flags for the for the upcoming Saint Yves 'pardon' which will occur on May 19th.
This 'pardon' is not like something a president grants to some nefarious characters. It is more like a pilgrimage of Catholics gone wild, a penitential ceremony and one of the most traditional demonstrations of popular Catholicism in Brittany. It is their version of a St. Patrick's day parade but without the beer.
We have seen these kind of ceremonies in Italy, where each church in an area tries to outdo the others, by carrying religiously symbolic 'floats' along a procession route. The dozen men required to carry each of these hefty weights are spelled by others waiting nearby along the route.
Our Cathedral is a little over a 1000 years old and has parts of it built on the foundations of a monastery which dates to the year 500. No, the monastery is not 500 years old, it dates from the year 500. The Cathedral is named after the patron saint of - if you can believe it - lawyers.
Anyway, it is a big deal around these parts and its the first time we have been here at the time of the year to be able to attend the event. Janice, having converted to Catholicism, is over the moon. This is far more than just a religious event. Its integral to the cultural fabric of the region and is part pageantry, part theater and from what I hear, just plain over the top.
We will surely have more to say about it next month after we have seen it for ourselves.
I made time to help my buddy Loic punch a hole in a 30" thick (70 cm), 300 year old dry stone (no mortar) wall to build a doorway. Punching the hole is easy, the tricky part is keeping the many tons of stone wall above it from collapsing until you rebuild the supports below. One tiny miscalculation and the whole enchilada comes crashing down.
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| Look everybody, I'm in the Epistle!!! |
John on the other hand, asked if I could help raise 3 serious beams on a job site he was working on. Funny thing was that he was more concerned about making sure I would mention him in the Epistle than he was about the risking of my life and limb to raise the beams themselves. By the way some folks talk, you would think this thing was the bloody New York Times or something.
All in all, just a quiet month at the Laprade household.
Daughter # 4
As for you, we hope you have a nice day. Unless you've made other plans.
