June 2018

The staircase

Of all the things I can think of that would have less interest for anyone to read about is my staircase. I have only built two in my lifetime, a spiral staircase in our home in California and one here in France just before we left. Ok, so the spiral one was a heck of a challenge for a an inexperienced guy like me, a real head scratcher but in the end I managed. Here in France though, was a different story.

Staircases are reasonably straightforward with tons of designs and plans readily available online or on You Tube. You really have no excuse to struggle with the project. Spiral gets trickier but in the end it is doable. What I faced here was a freeking nightmare. Not to bore you anymore that I already have with the details, I had an issue that apparently had no solution. 

The long and the short of it was that I had a space where for the previous 60 years a ladder served as a staircase between what is now our garden level living room and the lower bedroom. Clearly this would not do, but no solution presented itself. So, I sought the advice of professionals who calculated the available space and assured me that none was possible.

I asked if a custom staircase could be built knowing full well that the price would now go to the moon. "You are so cheap you did it yourself, right?" I can hear my kids scream as they read this. Ok, so they might have a point but no, the pro's said, I was on my own. I spent two full days cutting cardboard templates to try to calculate what could and could not be done. The issue was that in each plan, someone going either up or down the stairs would slam his / her head in the concrete ceiling beam at the bottom of the stairs.

On day 3, I thought I had a potential solution. But not being a math wiz, in the end I wasn't sure it would work in the real world. It called for what is known in Europe (I have never seen one in North America) as a 'space saver' staircase, also known as a Japanese staircase.  Essentially, you offset each stair tread so that it occupies half the space of a conventional one allowing you to drop in elevation in little more than half the space of a conventional staircase. There are commercial ones available, but none that would fit in my available space.

OK, so it's not as complicated as building an airplane and learning to fly it, but must everything be compared to all but the impossible? The picture helps explain it better than I can here. So, I built this custom Mahogany staircase, then went out and cut a tree on our property, stripped it of its bark and installed it as a handrail. I was so excited, I treated myself to an ice cream.

Free cash for everyone?

A couple of months ago I had a neighbor's head explode when I shared some of our beloved state of California's approach to some hot button issues in The Epistle.

Having learned nothing and being completely unrepentant, I thought I would update you. The 27 year old mayor of Stockton (city in California that declared bankruptcy in 2012) is planning on his being the first city in the nation to give $500. per month for at least 3 years to low income residents. This is so that they can have a 'universal basic income' that they can spend in any way they wish with no strings attached, no conditions or restrictions.

One recipient said that he would take his kids to Disneyland. Since a daily ticket for a family of four runs just under $600, he will have to kick in a few bucks of his own, even if they can get there for free (!) and no one eats or drinks anything. But I am getting sidetracked since obviously they can bring their free lunch from the food bank. 

Not to be outdone, the province of Ontario Canada already has some communities that have already implemented the basic income program in the hopes that some people would use the money to go back to school, raise their self esteem or pursue a passion.

We are taxpayers in both Ontario and California, and I can unequivocally state that $500 a month from either (or both) would be a help in my aviation fuel purchase budget to allow me to pursue my passion and raise my self esteem. If you find yourself a little short on cash, perhaps you could consider becoming a resident of Stockton.

I report, you decide.

Fun? What do we do to have fun?

Being cave dwellers from way back, we have visited several in the US, Switzerland, Belgium and France, including some we have even traveled through in a boat.  Last month, we visited a new one near where we live. They are all so different and interesting.

From the flight deck.

Yup. Its that time of the year. News you can’t use, are unlikely to care much about but about the only subject I want to talk about. Flying.

The good news was that we got back from Europe just fine, all was in good shape at the island (house, car, boats and airplane). The great news is that I am back to dancing with the angels. After an 8-month absence, I was required to do 5 takeoffs and landings to ‘get current’ so I knock that out in the first hour before I went out to play. Then, it was game on.

No sooner was I back in the air (OK, after putting in 20 hours in no time flat) I was due for my first 300-hour engine overhaul. Grounded while the engine is in the shop and I am reinstalling my floats I took advantage of the opportunity to do other piddly maintenance on the plane and start a little project around the house to keep in the boss’s good graces.

Threading the needle

While I often fly just for the shear pleasure of droning along in the sky, taking in the spectacular view from a relatively low altitude, once in a while the weather allows me to thread the needle. That is when the clouds are such that there are numerous puffballs in various shapes and sizes. I then become a cross between Peter Pan and Superman, arm lunged forward aiming for a hole between the clouds or a separation I can thread myself through or between. 

Being alone, I can be more aggressive in my climb, pitch, dive or roll than I would be with a screaming passenger. For the legalistic purist, I – ahem­- ...always... follow the legal separations required to avoid a midair collision with other unseen aircraft. It is kind of like riding a motorcycle if you could suddenly drive over a fence, drive above the trees, across a river, through someone's farm to see what was 'over there'. Just because you feel like it. Peter Pan can do it...and so can I.

You wanna bet?

Last fall, we were getting ready to leave the island for the season when my buddy Bud and I were discussing the flooding that had occured over the summer and inundated a number of island cottages and submerged many docks including his and ours.

He casually said that it would re-occur again this summer. I said something to the effect that that was a bunch of poop-ladoo. He assured me that as a park warden for his entire career he understood why this would happen. Me, I was a know nothing Californian with a different opinion. The matter was resolved the way two guys who disagree on something always do. We were a little old to bluster on with the "My father is stronger than your father" stuff. So the bet was on for a real nice bottle of French wine.

Over the winter we would email back and forth teasing each other about what we thought would be the outcome, and I would get water level reports from him -and others- just to keep him honest. As our return approached, I even emailed to tell him that relieving himself in the river to try to raise the levels would not count. I teased that I thought a bottle of 1969 'Chateauneuf du Pape' would be wonderful, even though it was not something I ever drank or could afford.

Finally, the day of reckoning arrived and I was the unquestioned winner. And he was the most gracious over the top....eh....non winner.