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May, 2020




"How I survived a two month lock down"
or
How to do the time without doing the crime


The gift

Often when people stop working, their employer will offer them some kind of retirement gift. Traditionally it was a nice watch but the gift can take many forms including a cash bonus. When I retired, the CDC (California Department of Corrections) offered me a choice of a watch or a real nice Texas cowboy sized CDC themed belt buckle. Since I would never wear a watch (I have never worn any kind of body jewelry including a wedding ring) I picked the buckle and have never worn it either. As far as the wedding ring thing goes, Janice is always around to remind me so I am kept on a short leash.

The real lasting and most valuable gift I was left with is my renewable for life CDC identification card and its accompanied brass star, also commonly referred to as the tin or the badge. It has proven valuable beyond words on those few and rare occasions when I have had contact with the authorities. I can recall years ago when we were driving in Paris and I stopped at a red light. I had inadvertently nudged over the crosswalk line at the intersection when a furious Gendarme came storming up to my drivers window to chew me out, demanding to see my license. I presented it of course, but it just happened to be in my ID wallet along with the pretty large brass star. He took one look at it, smiled and leaned into the car and gave me a Hollywood air kiss on both cheeks saying "brother in blue!" I apologized for my mistake but he brushed it off saying that he did not want to hold me up any longer.

The platform I use to write The Epistle (Blogger) sends me a report each month as to how many people have read it. Not who or where but just how many. What I have never been able to figure out is why I only send it out to a select few family and friends and Blogger reports that MANY more are reading it. I can only assume that you two or three are sharing it like a bad cold with others who I cannot understand would have the slightest interest. The point of my going off on a bunny trail here from the subject is to make very clear to anyone who might read this that I never have or never would use this identification to try to talk myself out of a traffic ticket or any law enforcement action. It would not only be unethical but downright illegal. Fortunately, peace officers have a large latitude to use their own judgement as to how to handle different situations. 


That said, Janice has dubbed the star "Masterbadge, never leave home without it"


Family


Couples often have 'opinions' about their relatives, and more importantly, their mate's relatives. There is a reason why mother in law jokes have such a following. Relax, this is not about mother in laws because my mother in law didn't raise no dummy. No, this is about families in general.

Over the years Janice and I have had a good natured running debate about whose family is the most dysfunctional. With my having 2 brothers and a sister, she has endless ammunition to work with so she always wins. This month, my side got a big boost by second cousin. Turns out that she and her husband who live in Hemet, California, have taken on a sewing project during this lock down period. Since the end of February, they launched a micro factory of sorts, set up an assembly line that would make Henry Ford proud, and have sewn over 700 face masks and distributed them locally, including to a retirement home and to nurses.

Meanwhile, husband Joe has taken up the slack doing the cooking, laundry and all manner of activities a good house husband has taken responsibility for as primary support.


Head seamstress Monique

The product

A nurse in Colorado soon heard about them and asked if they would sew some for them also. So, 110 more masks were quickly sewn and shipped out. Folks like them make us very proud to be related to. You see honey, not everyone in my family is a dufus :)



The Covid thing

OK, so this Covid thing is getting really old. Like seriously really old. I have been in desperate need of a haircut and if I don't get one soon I will look like I did in college. Yes, a year or two older but still. I am getting closer to looking like a dumpster diver. The hair might be a little lighter too. OK, OK, quite a bit lighter. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, already! A hell of a lot lighter! But you get the idea.



Yesterday morning, our flight back to the US was cancelled by the airline. With impending extensions to border closures it looks less and less like we will be able to cross the border into Canada to return to the island until the end of June at the earliest. We will probably end up being stuck here on the French Riviera beaches for another month. Somehow, I am not sensing that you are feeling my pain.

Meanwhile, if it wasn't for all the projects I have been able to work on here, I would have been as bored as an Amish electrician. Even the emails are getting brutal. One was titled "knock, knock" in the subject line. I opened it and it was a Jehovah Witness working from home.

The only other news we have is that all our rental bookings for both our home in California as well as here through June have all been cancelled. Something about a virus of some kind...